I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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