Umm I'm too high to move.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
