At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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