Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're like the curious george of whores
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
