Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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