You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
