I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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