Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
