So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
