I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
