Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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