So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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