I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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