and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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