4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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