So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize