He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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