she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
