Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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