Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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