He asked to "fluff my boner.."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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