My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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