sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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