Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
