So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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