so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
third nipple confirmed
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
