i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
