i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
