Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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