and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
