So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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