I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
