If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
