did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize