so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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