there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
