TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
