I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
