Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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