That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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