its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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