I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
