youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
