So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
