they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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