Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
