I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
