what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
