I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
