is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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