Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
