I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
