But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
