he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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