The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
