Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
why is half of my head shaved?
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