I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
