So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
