just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
